8/7/07 GOOD NEWS UPDATE ON MY ADOPTION!
For those of you not versed in the art of seduction, I am going to teach you a lesson in how to get a man to fall for you. First I will set the scene:
There was a party going on that Saturday night. All of our cages were cleaned, wine was flowing and jazz music could be heard from outside. I felt a distinctively good energy that night and had this feeling something amazing was going to happen. I knew my coat was looking a little raggedy and I had these extra long whiskers growing out one side of my face like an old man, but I felt like I had game that night.
So many people passed me and invaded my personal space like I wanted to hook up with them just because they were there. I pretended to cower down, but really I was taking sideways glances at each one of them to see if they were "the one". After awhile, I started to get discouraged that no one was giving me butterflies in my stomach and began to lose hope. Out of nowhere this attractive man came up to me and spoke sweet somethings in my ears. I knew this was not the time to play shy if I wanted to snag this man. Excitedly I ran to my front door and greeted him as if he were the only man in the world. I acted energetic and yet demure at the same time. He got a few pets in and then left. Dejected, I hopped back into my box and sighed. Moments later he came back with his lady friend and next thing I knew they took me out and sat me on the lady's lap. She wasn't the one I wanted, but somehow I knew I had to placate her. Like the good actress I am, I sat there and pretended to love being pet and talked to.
It seemed like hours had passed before this lady would put me back. I really had to pee! Fortunately, she put me back just in time and I did my business. I couldn't stop thinking about that man. He must have felt the same way because he kept coming back to me and saying things like "Hi sweet Tabitha. Would you want a boyfriend? Maybe you can come home with us." I got my hopes up and never saw him again that night.
A few days later, I was minding my own business and suddenly Marcy took me out of my cage and set me down in a pen next to the most handsome Rex I had ever laid eyes on. Like the shameless hussy I can be, I ran up to him and rubbed up against him near the hay rack. Poor thing was a little slow on the uptake and had no idea what was happening to him. He didn't really know what to do with me - I think he might have been a virgin. I heard that lady from the other night say "he is a bit of a 'tard you know." I was thinking she wasn't very nice to say that to such an attractive bun. It only made me want him more just to prove her wrong. With that I followed his every step. He drank water, I drank water. He went to the bathroom, I went. You get the drift. No way was I letting this one go. I was so hot for him that I mounted him like a cheap slut. I heard gasps from the lady and ignored her prudish ways. Once I was finished I finally learned his name which was Ansel. At least I learned his name right? Next thing I knew the two of us were whisked upstairs to the honeymoon suite and we stayed together for a week.
That lady whose name turns out to be Jill, came back for us and brought us home. Ansel was so excited when he explained "this is the place where you get three meals a day and lots of treats. I watch television every night and have a huge hallway I do binkies in. You are going to love it!" I was scared until I saw the man I flirted with standing over me saying "hi baby girl. We are so glad you love our Fancy Pants and we are going to spoil you. Can I call you Libby? It is sort of short for little head big body and yet not." Whatever, I thought. You can call me anything you want if all you say is true. I thought he was going to keel over and die when I showed him how good I am with my litter box skills.
My first day or so I only wanted to snuggle my boyfriend Ansel and make sure he would protect me from this strange place. My other boyfriend, Scott kept saying sweet nothings to me and would sneak me carrots when Jill wasn't looking. I knew he was the the one! Ansel kept telling me about this television thing and within two days I found out what it was. Basically, Jill and Scott put him on a special blanket and he snuggles up on Jill while he watches stupid shows. That is so boring! I let my couch potato boyfriend do his thing while I explored the bed. I don't know what came over me, but I suddenly felt free. I kept jumping, flipping over, crashing, smiling and repeating. I couldn't stop myself I was so freaking happy. Who knew life could be so good? I made Scott laugh and Jill was surprised at my energy. She said she had no idea I had such a big personality.
Anyways, here I am a week or so later and I have them all wrapped around my little finger. I have never been so happy in my entire life and I hear I make Ansel more calm and relaxed. I love my new life and must end this so I can jump and flip all over the place to express my joy.
I'm all healed and ready to be adopted. I am a shy, sweet girl and am looking for love!
Please adopt me!
Hi. My name is Tabitha. I just had surgery for a painful abscess on my nose. I'm not sure how I was injured, but I needed rescue ASAP to get me the medical attention I urgently required.
I am a small girl, very dainty and pretty, and I am a bit shy at first. I am a really nice bunny, so as soon as I feel I can relax and trust you, I love being talked with and petted. I just want someone to take care of me.